I know this might come as an unbelievable shock to many of you, but I only just started actually drinking coffee a year ago.
Trust me, I can't believe it either, especially considering my disgusting reliance on it now. But indeed, there was once a time in my life where I could wake up in the morning and head to work without those beautiful beans humming through my veins.
Seriously, I've tried, and it's not pretty. It mostly involves me glaring at everyone and snapping at whatever brave soul dares to tell me I look tired that day.
Do I, Brenda? Do I really? I wonder why?
I would look at those mugs that say things like, "Coffee First, Then Conversation," or "You Wouldn't Like Me Before My Morning Coffee," and I would roll my eyes to the damn ceiling.
Seriously, your entire personality is dependent on whether you have a steaming hot cup of liquid beans? That's cute.
I wake up in the morning and trudge to my kitchen like I'm in a daze, and like someone else is controlling my arms while I prepare my morning cup.
Then, once I've had a sip, it's like I've only actually just woken up for the first time.
You know, with a little splash of vanilla almond coffee creamer, served in my favorite "Dog Momma" mug, and with absolutely no one saying a word to me until that mug is completely empty and I've decided I don't need a second.
Is that too much to ask?
