Reddit | _theseacucumber

16 Things That Would Totally Make Black Friday Interesting

Diply 14 Nov 2017

I'm not sure who decided that a day dedicated to being thankful for what you have should be immediately followed by tearing each other apart for what you don't, but I admire their cruel sense of irony.

At best, Black Friday is a stressful, cranky shopping experience that might save you some money.

At worst, the people on this list will show up to the party and it will be total mayhem.

1. The person who has been training for this day for way too long.

Instagram | @girlsthinkimfunny

This ain't their first rodeo. Year after year, they've been hardened a little more by Black Friday sales and now know the exact technique for wrestling a TV out of someone's hands.

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2. The one who manages to get a little too attached to the merchandise.

Instagram | @x__antisocial_butterfly__x

The store employees are having a hard enough time focusing on staying alive and appeasing the zombie horde without wriggling someone's arm out of a speaker.

Now is not the time to experiment.

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3. The folks using this chaotic day to finesse a little something.

Instagram | @will_ent

I'm not knocking people's hustle, but I'm not falling for it when they flop to the ground like a soccer player after I brush against them.

There's probably a fist fight nearby if they're so eager.

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4. The people with absolutely no idea what they just signed up for.

Reddit | emtcj

See, I can't see the panicked, vulnerable looks on their faces without feeling a responsibility to protect them. Trust me, that makes it really hard to focus on all the dynamo deals.

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5. The wild warriors who treat the whole event like a Mad Max audition.

Reddit | carlsaganfedoraswag

Sure, the cops usually grab these jokers really quick, but they still have a small window to run into the bike section and pedal their way to freedom (true story).

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6. The employees who spent way too much time in the heart of darkness.

Instagram | @mememang

Remember, if you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. Eventually, someone might feel tempted to quit in the most chaotic way possible.

Stay strong, brothers and sisters.

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7. People who take "doorbuster" sales way too literally.

Reddit | anonymousmoney

I can appreciate that those TVs are going fast, but sometimes you just have to stop and ask yourself if it's really worth it to lug that battering ram around all day.

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8. People who bring their young children along for the ride.

Reddit | Kawaii_

I get that nobody wants to go through all this just to get the wrong video game, but maybe work out some options beforehand.

You know, something that doesn't drag the poor darlings into a war zone.

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9. That one jerk who tries to escalate things way too quickly.

Reddit | theregoesmyday

Black Friday doesn't need any help descending into carnage. So if things are still tense but peaceful, the first one to tackle somebody for a Nintendo Switch will just end up getting arrested.

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10. The evil genius who finds a way to pit everyone involved against each other.

Reddit | obviousplant

I don't think it's a longshot to predict people would skip over the word "centaur" here and argue with the staff over why they can't get a stand-up desk and archery set.

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11. People who only came in to buy one thing they can easily get any other time of the year.

Instagram | @meme.w0rld

I just don't understand why someone would risk life and limb just to load up on towels that only set them back a couple of bucks under normal circumstances.

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12. People who show up wearing the wrong kind of vintage gear.

Instagram | @will_ent

Look, this day already starts to look enough like The Purge without people masking up like this. The employees don't need any more stress than they're already dealing with, and this makes them really nervous.

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13. The people in the crowd who treat the time before opening like they're about to storm a castle.

Reddit | _theseacucumber

Nothing lets you know your shift is gonna suck quite like people screaming, fighting, and spitting at you before the doors have even opened.

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14. People who damage the stock just enough to show you what's really inside it all.

Imgur | BananaHam

It's hard to get excited about a hot deal on something when you realize you could go down to the hardware store and make the thing yourself.

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15. The maniacs who ensure that you don't even make it past the parking lot.

Reddit | [deleted]

Whether they're trying to knock out the competition or they just wanted to see how many parking spots they could take up, they're great at making you regret not waiting for Cyber Monday.

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16. People who try to pay for their purchases with another country's money.

Imgur | OatmealBreakfast

Now is not the time to give those poor cashiers a crash course in exchange rates. And I know that weird tear was caused by another customer, but it's not really helping matters.

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