I don't know how to do a lot of things. If my computer messes up or my eyelid starts getting swollen, I have, at best, a 50/50 shot of doing anything about it.
Sure, I'll try fixing stuff myself every once in a while. But more often than not, my attempts end up being total failures that create more problems for the person who eventually helps me fix it.
But if any of this sounds familiar, don't worry. Apparently, there's a whole different level of clueless out there.
If this person bought the whole truck there, that'd be one thing, but they just got those two packs of Life Savers.
Like, why?
I'll save you the bizarre scavenger hunt and tell you those pliers are somehow supposed to be the steering wheel and that bucket is the seat.
Yeah...
A lot of things in this world work great as DIY projects, but flamethrowers aren't one of them.
And sure, that bulldog probably eats as many boogers as that lonely kid in middle school did. But in this situation, so do all the other popular dogs.
So there's no excuse for you not to invite the doggo over, man.
My mom once smoked up the whole house when she made cannolis and my eyes burned just from watching TV.
So imagine how hard the barber's job is now.
Unless you've got someone around to pull the cowboy skates off, that's an adventure that's starting at the front door and ending in the backyard.
Well, either that, or they figure the bathroom's warm enough to melt this thing eventually.
For all of you aspiring jokesters out there, don't underestimate people's fight-or-flight instincts. It leads to punched-out Mr. Beans.
They can obviously kiss that lamp goodbye, but I think we can count writing "fragile" on that box as trolling themselves.
I think we'll need a unit that teaches how to care for your life and three units on how not to pointlessly endanger it.
Because I'm sorry, but the sticker's not really that awesome. If you replace it with one that says, "This sticker shouldn't exist," nothing changes.
Basically, if you just have one cop change into a striped shirt and send them over with a rule book, you've solved the problem.
I can only conclude that the big problem with putting strawberries on pizza is that the delivery driver will drop it in disgust.
Seriously, how do they even know where they're going? Are they just following the GPS directions really precisely?
Ask Michael Scott how well that works.
If they went to the trouble of bringing a couch here, why aren't they sitting on it?!
Oh yeah, and don't block streets or something.
We're not gonna encourage a brainfart of this caliber, though. So we'll just pretend we had that idea all along.
But even then, I think I'd just prefer they flip me off instead of taking my order. At least I could get that part for free.
If nothing else, it'll probably feature the world's only structure where they actually build the doodles people make in the margins.
She may not feel lucky now, but she probably will be when she realizes how far away this picture was taken.
At least she gets some plausible deniability about it being her in the picture.
She told someone else she was going to eat noodles out of a toilet, and they apparently said, "Yes, this is a good idea. Let's show everyone."
Because even if you're sure you got all the pieces out, there's always that one little fire starter still stuck in there.
You'll notice I'm not really dissing the person who did this. That's because they're a toddler.
Congratulations, buddy! You just filled out the annoying passenger Bingo card! Coincidentally, "bingo" is what I'd scream at them until they moved.
Of course, now that I've said that, I'm sure I've somehow just doubled the rent on this place. Hooray...
Even playing freeze tag like we're 10 again sounds better than this idea.
