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Dad Is Divided On Whether Or Not Him Punishing His Daughter Might 'Traumatize' Her

If you thought the terrible twos were bad, try raising a teenage daughter.

That is no easy feat! At this age, a lot of girls are full of attitude and detest toward their parents. So when one daughter wrote a list about her father's flaws, he turned the tables back on her.

But now, the dad is wondering if he went too far...

This stressed-out father took his dilemma to the "Am I The Asshole (AITA)" community on Reddit.

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He began by explaining that he and his 17-year-old daughter have been having a lot of issues.

"She is at a stage where she tries to rebel to any hint of authority and uses the 'almost adult' card to justify herself."

He gave an example of this.

Unsplash | Matheus Ferrero

"There have been times when she leaves the house since the morning and does not tell me where she is going, or says that she 'is an adult' to refuse when I ask her to clean her room or do certain house chores."

As a result, things have been tense at home.

Things hit a peak when his daughter gave him a list of all the flaws she thinks her dad has as a person. These are all personal flaws, such as his physical appearance and his accent.

Even his gestures were put into question.

Unsplash | Nik Shuliahin

The father was not impressed. "I would have appreciated if the list had been about flaws in my parenting, or things that I can improve, but they were all an attack on my person," he wrote. "I was quite offended and sad when I finished reading it."

As a way to retaliate, the dad came up with a controversial idea.

Unsplash | Green Chameleon

"I said to her that since she's so good at dissecting someone's personality and appearance, I wanted her to do the same with her." He told his daughter that he wanted her to make a list of her own flaws.

She would give her dad the list and then they would both be able to comment on their flaws.

There was even a deadline involved: "I told her that until she gives the list to me, she has no right to use the car."

His daughter didn't react well to this.

Unsplash | Taylor Hugh

"My daughter said that I am an asshole, a bad parent and that making that list about herself is going to traumatize her."

He also said that taking away her car is horrible and that she is going to hate him for eternity if he doesn't stop the punishment.

"AITA?" the father asked Reddit.

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The majority of users didn't think so.

"She needs to understand how hurtful what she did was," one wrote, adding that she seems very unlikely to understand.

That's why they suggested a different approach, like getting a part-time job to pay for gas for the car.

"NTA, if she thinks that it is legitimate to list one's flaws, she wouldn't mind doing that about herself too," added another.

"She sounds recalcitrant and rebellious. She has to follow societal etiquette." Many agreed that the daughter needs to be cut off financially when she's 18.

They also said that the dad should treat his daughter as an adult since she so firmly believes she is one.

Unsplash | Michael Longmire

This means making her pay for things, like basic expenses, and pitch in for the household chores. "Treat her like an adult until she realises she's not one," one wrote.

Finally, some said that the list was taking things too far.

One said that it could severely damage any relationship they have left.

"Maybe tread carefully here, there could be a lot that gets uncovered on this one and you may well end up learning more about your daughter's real self-image from this than you're prepared for," added another.

It's definitely tricky!

H/T: Reddit